Breaking the Cycle: A Guide on Putting an End to Negative Self-Talk .

Jealousy is one of the most powerful directional signals on the planet. That’s because you are only jealous of people who are doing things or have things that you actually want. It is impossible to be fake jealous. Whatever you’re jealous of, is hitting something deeply personal. You should pay attention to it! Instead of stewing in it, think about how you could take those things that you’re really inspired by and take action and go get them in your life. The thing about jealousy is, it is just your inspiration that’s blocked. Most folks know what they dream about and what they want and yet, they are spending all of their time and energy arguing against what they want. 

People can have all these epiphanies. I really hope reading this article allows people to have an ‘AHA’ moment! But it’s not going to mean anything if you don’t take action and do something about it. The ‘AHA’ moment is the door that opens but your new life does not begin unless you step through the door. 

You should believe in yourself. Tearing yourself down over the stuff that you have done, it’s not going to empower you to change the patterns that are keeping you stuck. People will cheer for you and me, they won’t cheer for themselves. The point of the story is that it’s so easy to see what somebody else should do, it’s so easy to cheer for somebody else. We all do that right? We cheer for our favorite sports teams. We follow our favorite influencers and authors. We plan birthday parties for our friends. We take on extra work from our colleagues. We support everyone around us. We do not know how to do it for ourselves. The most motivating force in the world, on the planet based on research, hands down is EMPOWERMENT, ENCOURAGEMENT, SUPPORT and CELEBRATION. For our entire lives, we have outsourced that to somebody else. That moment, in the mirror, every morning, could be a profound moment where you lift yourself up and you check back in with your intention. The average person cannot celebrate themselves. 

I’m going to ask everybody who’s reading this, to tomorrow morning, stand in front of the mirror and try to high five yourself.  

You can’t raise your hand to your own reflection without now grounding yourself in the moment. Instead of going, ‘I got this, let’s go and high-fiving yourself to step forward’, most of us go ‘Hmn, I don’t know if I’m worth it. I don’t know if right now is the right time to do this. I don’t think I’m good enough. I’ve failed so many times, I can’t go through that door.’


That there is somewhere in your life that you know what you want. You can feel it pulling you and you are actively arguing against it. You are bringing yourself down. You’re beating yourself out. You don’t want to reach 45 or 65, filled with regret that you never put a bet on yourself. Yes, it is easy to see what somebody else should do. It is so easy to cheer for somebody else. We do not know how to do it for ourselves. When somebody high-fives you, you feel seen, you feel heard and you feel like somebody has acknowledged you for the unique person that you are.  

One of the biggest objections that people had to standing in front of the mirror, take a moment, look at yourself and then raise your hand was telling themselves that they haven’t done anything worthy of high-fiving. High-fiving feels like a celebration. Yes, you may not have the number on the scale that you want. You may not like your bank account. You may not enjoy what you do for a living. You may have made a lot of mistakes. You may be struggling with trauma and not have anything to celebrate. But, you are making a fundamental mistake. You are withholding the very support, empowerment, and celebration that you need to change and to do the hard work and to face the things that you are scared of. That is why you are not changing. If you can’t stand in front of the mirror and raise your hand and high-five yourself, just because you got out of bed and you are breathing, you will never get what you want in life. 

Is the negative stuff you’re saying, and the support that you’re withholding helping you feel better? If it’s not, try this! Try celebrating yourself five days in a row. Literally. Try starting your day by waking up and raising your hand and high-fiving yourself in the mirror, just because you’re breathing.

Saying ‘I’m doing the best I can’ is pretty empowering if you think about it. Or saying ‘I can learn from this’, ‘This is temporary, I’ll be okay’. Those sorts of things are little ways to high-five your mind instead of again going low. You got a choice. Do you take yourself down or do you lift yourself up? That’s where it begins.


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